Parenting Through Divorce: Helping Kids Heal

Honest, age-appropriate guidance for one of parenting's hardest conversations

You’ve decided to get a divorce. When do you tell the kids? How much do you share? What do you say about the other parent, especially when you’re hurt, or angry, or both? And what if you’re already worried you’ll get it all wrong?

Black men and women have among the highest rates of divorce from a first marriage of any racial group in this country. So divorce is a common experience for many of our families, and yet it’s one of the hardest topics to talk about with our kids. This week I’m so happy to welcome back Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart to help us figure out how to do it with care.

Dr. Lockhart is a pediatric psychologist, parent coach, and national speaker with over 20 years of experience. She’s a regular guest on the podcast, and came back this week to talk about something so many families live through but rarely feel ready for: how to guide children through divorce and life afterwards.

I love that in this conversation Dr. Lockhart pulls no punches and offers specific and helpful advice. We talk about when and how to break the news, why parents should try to tell their children together, and how to be honest without burying kids in details they never needed. She walks us through some of the harder stuff as well: navigating a high-conflict split, answering pointed questions without badmouthing the other parent, and helping children hold two true things at once: that you can love someone and still recognize that their choices hurt.

She also gets personal. Growing up the youngest of three in a divorced family, Dr. Lockhart shares what helped her, what she needed, and the small, surprising thing that made her sob when her mother announced a remarriage. Her story was a reminder of how much is going on inside our children that we can’t always see.

We talk about what healthy co-parenting actually looks like day to day, how to keep your kids at the center when a new relationship begins, and the particular questions biracial families face through divorce and remarriage.

And for any parent who feels sure that they’ve already messed this up, Dr. Lockhart assures us that there’s hope. Owning your mistakes, apologizing to your children, and resetting is always possible, and it may be one of the most powerful things your kids ever watch you do.

Listen to Parenting Through Divorce: Helping Children Heal with Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart or watch it on our YouTube channel. Even if you’re not dealing with this in your family, it’s helpful information to know and pass on to others in need. This episode is full of warmth, honesty, and the kind of practical wisdom that is truly helpful.

And if you’re parenting teens, or about to, treat yourself to a copy of Dr. Lockhart’s latest book, Love the Teen You Have. It’s a thoughtful, reassuring guide to years that can feel oh-so complicated.

Thanks to Paramount for their sponsorship, Seneca Women Podcast Network for its support, and DonorsChoose for being our philanthropic partner this season. Above all, thank YOU for being part of the GCP community.

Enjoy,